15 Atlanta Hawks
The Spurs of the East. The Hawks employ a team first philosophy and are likely to grab the No.1 seed in the Eastern Conference. The eschew the star driven nature many of the rivals prefer and fly under the radar of the general public. At one stage during this year's All Star game there were four Hawks players on the court at the same time. I'm willing to bet a cool $1 the average fan of the NBA could not name those four players. They are boringly great at basketball which is fantastic for the incumbent fan but not very enticing for the perspective suitor.
14 Boston Celtics
As an Irishman there is a particular
pressure to commit to Celtic’s fandom The clue is in the name and their
shamrock emblazoned logo. This might be a good time to catch the historic franchise
as they are on the up with a new head coach and a young roster. They probably
traded Rondo at the perfect time and might even make the playoffs this year but
in truth, they are a long way off getting back to where they were in the 60’s
or 80’s. They don’t have the train wreck value of other previously successful
franchises either and why take on the pressure of their history, if you’re
going to pick an average team, go for one that’s shooting for their first ever
title. It will feel that much sweeter.
13 Philadelphia 76ers
The Philadelphia seventyTankers! That’s awful,
I’m sorry. But it’s hard to discuss the 76ers at the moment without the issue
of tanking coming up. They recently traded Michael Carter Williams to the
Bucks. MCW was considered by most people to be Philadelphia’s best player and
one of their core building blocks for the future. Not according to GM Sam
Hinkie. Hinkie is basically accumulating draft picks until he hits on the next
super star. For a prospective fan, this is a great strategy. If you get in now
you’ve hopefully missed the worst seasons and you might just stumble into a loaded team in 2 or 3 years time.
12 Milwaukee Bucks
Did you know the Bucks were a crazy 300/1
to win the title in the preseason? No one thinks they’re actually going to win
it this year but they currently sit sixth in the Eastern Conference and look
likely to make the playoffs. For reference, the Knicks were 50/1 to win it all preseason.
They are currently 20 games behind the Bucks. The Bucks aren’t sexy but if
you like playing the long game and rooting for a plucky underdog you could do
worse. They also have Giannis Antetokounmpo which is simultaneously the most
satisfying name to say while also being the most infuriating name to write.
11 New Orleans Pelicans
The Pelicans have Anthony Davis. That makes
them immediately relevant in any discussion about perspective fandom. Davis is
on his way to becoming the best player in the league and he’s only just turned
21. As a franchise the Pelicans have a complicated history with the Charlotte Hornets,
who used to be the Bobcats, as the New Orleans Pelicans were for a time known
as the New Orleans Hornets. Oh and from 2005-2007 they were the New
Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets because of Hurricane Katrina. It’s confusing. Their
arena is called the Smoothie King Center which is one of the greatest naming
atrocities known to man. If you can overlook this considerable misstep then
Anthony Davis might lead you to a NBA title or eight in the not too
distant future.
10 Toronto Raptors 14
The Raptors Wikipedia page tells me they
had a Vince Carter era, a period of struggle and then Chris Bosh rose. I don’t
know where he rose from but I know he hightailed it out of Toronto to join
LeBron and D Wade soon after his rise. The Raptors currently occupy the No.3 seed in the East and look set to make their second consecutive post season appearance. They are a decent, entertaining team but you get behind the the Raptors to be
different. To be the only guy supporting the team from Canada. And also Drake.
In fact mainly Drake, you support Toronto because of Drake.
9 Houston Rockets
Another strange team name. The Rockets were
originally based in San Diego and got their name from the Atlas missile that was being developed near by. As a team name, that’s about as far fetched as they come.
Their GM Daryl Morey was one of the first general managers in the league to
trust and employ advanced analytics. He has built a championship contending
team around James Harden and the oft injured Dwight Howard. That’s a neat
synopsis of the current landscape around the team but I’m struggling for
something interesting. Advanced analytics (or you know, just plain old
information) has become so commonplace now that although the Rockets were one
of the first teams to use it, they are not necessarily defined by it. Also James
Harden is a legitimate MVP candidate who continues to a sport a very strange beard. So there you go, beards and stats, stats and beards. What more do you want!
8 San Antonio Spurs
The Hawks of the West! I’m kidding of
course, the Spurs are the originals and some would say the best. From a neutrals perspective, there’s a
lot to like about the Spurs. #Wellactually, there’s one specific thing to like;
their consistent level of success. They’ve missed the playoffs once in the past
25 years. They are often compared to the Patriots in terms of how much success
they’ve had but unlike the Pats, the Spurs are generally revered by everybody. Popovich
irritates some people with his monosyllabic interviews and unpredictable
rotations but these are minor quibbles. The Spurs deserve your attention when choosing a new team. One word of
warning though: although people have been writing about the Spurs getting old
for about five years now, there is a chance it has actually become a real issue
this year. They have not looked good for a large portion of the year and are
seventh in the Western Conference. They’ll make the playoffs but, right now at
least, it’s hard to see them beating some of the other heavy weights in the
West.
7 Chicago Bulls
Michael Jordan. The Bulls still live in the shadow of their greatest play as does the league to a certain extent.
Jordan rose above (literally and figuratively) all other basketball activities
for a stretch of seven or eight years in the 90’s. He was basketball. Jordan is
long gone of course but the Bulls are back to being a competitive franchise. The
only downside is that if you choose to support the Bulls you are following the
herd. There’s nothing interesting in following the massively successful team
from your childhood. ‘Real’ sports fans will look down on you as they fret over
the fortunes of their pathetic hometown teams, but should that really influence
you? No, it should not. Derrick Rose’s annual injuries are a worry but the Bulls are a worthy pick as your new favourite team.
6 Memphis Grizzlies
Another puzzling team name on the surface until
you realise the Grizzlies began life as the Vancouver Grizzlies, which makes a lot more
sense. I’m sure they desperately tried to rebrand themselves using some sort of
Elvis line but thankfully they stayed true to their Canadian roots. The
Grizzlies are a tough team who play a defensive and slow brand of basketball.
They might not be the most exciting team but they currently sit in the No.2
spot in the Western conference. They should secure home court advantage until
the conference finals and could conceivably beat any team over a seven game
series. Their star player is a stoic Spanish giant and they are often forgotten
about with the likes of Houston, OKC and Golden State hovering up the column
inches. They feel like the quiet underdogs but in reality they are one of the
best teams in basketball.
5 LA Clippers
The Clippers have moved on from the Donald
Sterling controversy last year and are now owned by former Microsoft CEO and renowned dancer, Steve Ballmer. They lived in the shadow of the Lakers for so long
but are now the undisputed top dogs of Los Angeles. They currently occupy the
No.5 seed in the Western Conference and have managed to stay afloat despite losing Blake Griffin to injury for just over a month. The Clippers are in a nice spot. Sterling is gone,
their hometown (and home court) rival’s are floundering and most importantly, they
have a very small fan base. The Lakers success made the Clippers almost irrelevant
up until recently which has in turn kept their levels of fandom in check.
Nobody supports the Clippers outside of Los Angeles. Lakers fans are everywhere. Hitch
your wagon to the talents of Chris Paul and take a ride with Billy Crystal all
the way to an NBA title!
4 Portland Trailblazers
The Trailblazers are owned by another Microsoft alum, co-founder Paul Allen. Allen also owns the Seattle Seahawks and MLS team the
Seattle Sounders. I knew this before I started writing but I nevertheless went
to scope out Allen’s Wikipedia page and inadvertently ended up going down a
super-yacht wormhole. Suffice to say that Allen has a rather large yacht and
his Wikipedia page is filled with other information that will make you feel
like a failure in life. As for the Trailblazers, I’ve always had a soft spot
for Portland. It’s one of those cities I never hear much about and so I
naturally assume it to be a utopian paradise made up of traffic free streets,
affordable housing, a plentiful job market and a successful NBA team. Some of
these things may actually be true. Also, Damian Lillard’s habit of making ridiculous,buzzer beating, series-clinching shots is a nice little bonus.
3 Golden State Warriors
If you were seeding this contest
beforehand, the Warriors were probably No.1. They are the top team in the
harder conference, they average the highest points scored per game, have a
fantastic home crowd and they have the most exciting backcourt tandem in the
league. And yet, they are almost too good to be true. Steve Kerr seems like a
nice guy who hasn’t decided to turn his personality off just because he’s become
coach and if you want to jump in with an exciting, supremely talented team on
the rise, go right ahead but remember; winning is less enjoyable when you expect
it. You want a team with some cracks in their armour, some flaws and the fear of
not actually winning anything. Golden State seem a little too perfect right
now.
2 Cleveland Cavaliers
Unless you’ve been off fighting ISIS in
Syria for the last few months you’ll know that Lebron went back to Cleveland
last Summer and immediately turned The Cavs into a polarizing team. This might
not be an ideal situation for a new fan but know this dear reader; they are
starting to get really, really good. Ever since Lebron returned from his two
week vacation injury Cleveland have been rolling, and are now almost certain to
grab the No.2 seed. You’re jumping
on the LeBron bandwagon here which people will chastise you for but the fact
that it’s tied up with supporting a team from the city of Cleveland, discounts
that problem significantly. Cleveland is still the most tortured sporting city
in America and most importantly, they haven’t won anything yet. So before
Lebron turns the Cavs fortunes around you might want to start concocting a lie
about supporting the Cavs since the Zydrunas Ilgauskas days in the mid 90’s.
1 Oklahoma City Thunder
Our No.1! The Thunder are home to reigning
MVP Kevin Durant and current unstoppable force of nature and purveyor of triple
doubles Russell Westbrook. I used to really dislike Westbrook, for the same
reason sports fans dislike players in every sport, because I just didn’t really
like his face. I’ve managed to move past this irrational bias and I now believe
Westbrook to be some sort of freakishly athletic demon sent from another land
as a warning and example of how they could take over our entire planet whenever
they see fit. The Thunder are fun to watch and if you like to shun big city
markets like New York and L.A in favour of some good ol small town values then
look no further than Oklahoma. Did you know that the first yield sign was installed in Oklahoma in 1950? Or that the first shopping cart was invented and
used in Oklahoma City in 1937? You probably didn’t, but just think of what
other nuggets of info await if you jump on the OKC bandwagon. The Thunder have
a legitimate shot in the loaded west so long as they can keep afloat while
Durant is injured. With their current roster they are a danger to anyone,
however, there have been murmurs that Durant and Westbrook might not be long
for OKC so your long-term success as a fan might be limited. But who cares
about that, when Durant and Westbrook are rolling, there isn’t a more exciting
team to watch in the league.
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